Preparing for Baby: How I Reduced Stress During Pregnancy

Stress during pregnancy is inevitable, especially if you're a first time mom, and I had my fair share of it. With so many life changes hitting me all at once (like moving to another state, selling our home, quitting my job, and having a baby for the first time), I was having a hard time handling the transitions. 

More than ever, I needed to figure out how to reduce stress during my pregnancy not only for my own sanity, but for the health and well being of our baby. 

When I was pregnant, I ended up developing a mood disorder that remained with me six months postpartum and was officially diagnosed as Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. During my pregnancy, it manifested itself in severe anxiety that often left me struggling to sleep at night, not knowing when the next panic attack would show up.

How I Reduced Stress During Pregnancy

1. Limit Daily To-Do List to Three Essentials

When I would share that I was struggling with anxiety, a few people said it was normal during pregnancy, that hormones are just all over the place, but Matt and I knew that something was off. I know for some, they just wanted to help me feel better about what I was going through, but often, I left the conversations feeling misunderstood.

In the end, it was my concern for my baby that put me in front of a therapist. I wanted her to have a healthy mother.

The therapist helped me give myself permission to relax. We looked at what was causing me severe anxiety and she helped give me the tools I needed to handle it in healthier ways.

One of the areas of anxiety for me was being overwhelmed with the amount of tasks and chores I felt I needed to be doing, so one of the tools my therapist helped me with was to limit my daily to-do list to three essential things where one of those essentials needed to involve some kind of self care.

For me, those three essentials were getting out of the apartment, preparing for the baby, and completing a house task (like dusting or doing laundry)

I would also add some lavender essential oil to my diffuser during the day and have it on while I completed my tasks to help me stay calm and relaxed.

Tip: If you have a scent that you associate with happy memories, find a way to have it near you throughout your day whether you wear the scent or burn a scented candle. For me, my cousin gifted me a lavender scented moisturizer that I also used on my honeymoon. Ever since, lavender has been my signature scent that transports me to a joyful and peaceful time.

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A Legacy of Grief or a Legacy of Joy: My Battle with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

There is fury and despair beneath the surface of my soul and it will get out if one more thing goes wrong.

And it always does.

I am afraid. I am sad. I am no one. I am nothing.

These phrases were on repeat in my head during my pregnancy, and they slithered into the first few months of Anna's life, robbing me of joy. Robbing me of all the hopes and ideas and stories I dreamt of whispering to her.

I lived this way for over a year.

For over a year, I smiled and nodded through finding out I was pregnant, quitting my job, moving, and navigating a new city.

For over a year, I smiled and nodded when people asked how I was doing.

But bubbling under the surface were lies, fears, and paranoia. They took over me, distorting my thoughts away from what was good.

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