05 January 2011

The Newlywed Life Part I - Keep in touch!

Image taken of us by CSE Photography

Matt and I are really happy, really in love, and really content, but we're running out of time.

Before we were married, we thought it would be so easy to spend a lot of time together once we tied the knot. We had individual responsibilities, bills, friends and families. We really had to work at spending time with each other.

I like to think that we were good about not having too many outrageous expectations before marriage, but one thing we didn't think would happen was lost time.

With jobs, school, a dog and housekeeping on our plates, it's so easy to lose sight of each other throughout the day. We also understand that it's important that we start getting involved in our community and build relationships outside of just the two of us. So now we're realizing the hard work of spending time together doesn't go away once you're living together. Oh no; it's really just begun.

So here's three things we do to stay connected.

1. Reading out loud together. Sounds old fashioned, I know, but it's so relaxing and fun. We're going through two books. One fun and one serious.

  • All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot: The chapters are like small stories and they're touching, funny and comforting. We like to settle down with some tea while we read. I try my very best to get the accents right.
  • Fearless by Max Lucado: This book really helps us open up to each other. Sometimes, we know what the other is afraid of, but we don't really understand why. When we read and discuss the content of this book, we focus on being safe and compassionate with each other.
2. Go out for coffee. We don't do this very often, but when we do, it's nice to just sit and talk. No computers, no tv, no work. Just a table and some good java. When we're talking over coffee, we share what's on our hearts. I might talk about writing, and he might talk about research. We listen to what the other loves to do and we help each other stay motivated.

3. Share three things about your day. This really helps. I MEAN REALLY HELPS. We each take turns sharing three things that happened during our day apart and how it made us feel. It helps us learn to listen better, share better, and comfort each other better. And it feels really good when you have nothing but good to share and just as good when you have bad things to share, but you're loved and considered anyway.

What do you and your spouse/fiance/significant other do to spend good time together?

this is Part 1 in a series of posts I'm writing on newlywed Christians


  1. Owen and I have just started reading out loud to each other too. We take turns reading passages from the same book (Shogun), and try to make each other laugh by adding inappropriate scenes...

  2. Bridey - Sounds fun! I think the reading thing works so well because there are so many opportunities to laugh together.

  3. Christina, Shogun is such a good book! I recommend it for the fun list! :)

  4. Stina I love this post. I've been thinking about such activities to do with Lawrence lately. I love that you and Matt read together. Lawrence and I would never get past the first chapter! I'd get impatient with how he reads the voices and he would start daydreaming about baseball or something.

    One thing we have decided to do though is go through a devotional together. We've never actually done this so I'm excited to see how it goes... possibly a little anxious too but I think it will offer some good growth regardless.

    We also go to the gym together. This may seem a bit strange and impersonal, but we love it. We don't even stay in the same area. It's the being together for a common activity thing that I like. We don't have too many shared interests as far as activities go (aside from eating lol) so it's something good we both enjoy together. It's also nice to have something to talk about that doesn't involve insurance and grocery lists.

    Anyway, super long comment- sorry :)

  5. Thanks so much for your comment! I'm picking the blog back up actually, thanks for the encouragement. I'm loving your blog! This post especially. After 2 years of marriage I can honestly say how important these kinds of things are (and how easy it is to let them get away from you).

  6. Mom- Thanks! I'll look into it :)

    Cassie - I did fail to mention that I do all the reading as Matt is rather slow at it and I'm impatient. I guess patience is something I need to work on. Still.

    We go to the gym too...but it's more because Matt loves going with me and I love him...therefore I do it. I end up being glad that I went but goodness, it takes a lot of persuasion to get me out the door.

    June - I'm glad you enjoyed reading the blog post! And I'm glad you're picking up your own blog again. I look forward to your posts!

  7. Christina, what a great post! My hubby and I are still rather newlywed, and we found that to be an issue too. Life gets so hectic sometimes!

    I like the idea of reading out loud, it's a fun way to spend some time together. Also, James Herriot is one of my favorite authors! Did you know there's a whole television series based on those books? It's really good!

  8. MIkalah - Yes! I recently found the series on netflix and got really excited about it. We're definitely going to watch them after we finish the book.

  9. I completely agree! T and I were married in September of last year, and we thought things would slow down after the wedding, but that's far from the truth. Finding time for the two of you is important, and we try to do the date night thing at least once a week, but I love this book idea...might have to give it a try!

  10. This will be nice to look at in the future! ;)

  11. what a great post! some of our best memories are when we go out and get coffee--love it. currently, we play lots of bananagrams (so fun!) and try to find other games to play too that gets us away from the TV and connecting with each other. :)

  12. I can totally relate to this post! Nathan and I have different schedules, so it's really a challenge to stay connected. We try really hard by talking throughout the day (he'll call me on his lunch, or I'll call him on mine). When we get home, we also have a 5-minute rule. We each have 5 minutes to settle in, and then we focus totally on each other for several minutes. Sometimes it's just hugging, but other times it's sharing things that happened during the day. Great post!


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